One of the questions that I get asked about marital sex is, what exactly is a gatekeeper? What does a gatekeeper do? Why is gatekeeping not a good thing? Well basically a gatekeeper allows for regular sex but only on their terms. They limit sex to only those things they are comfortable doing very seldom […]
The Power of Eroticism in Marital Sex
One of my favorite posts by Dr. David Schnarch (affiliate link) is People Have Sex Within The Limits of Their Development. it is one of my favorites because it challenges the reader to realize that to mature beyond their current limits will require some feelings of nervousness and anxiety. The process toward maturity is not […]
Communication is the Key to Knowing
Regardless of how long you’ve been married to your spouse you don’t really know them as well as you probably thing you do. Regardless of what you think you cannot read your spouse’s mind. Despite your best efforts you will make incorrect assumptions about your spouse’s wants, needs, desires and particularly their motives. All of […]
Flesh=Bad/Spirit=Good is Heresy
Paul B. of The Generous husband writes about a wife who believes that limiting the amount of sex her husband is allowed will draw him close to God. Here it is in Paul B’s words: The wife has indicated God wants her to limit the amount of sex because the man cares too much about […]
Manual Sex Advice for the Wife
On one of the online forums in which I participate the question is often asked here about making the experience better for our spouse, whether that’s oral sex, manual sex, etc. Today I’d like to make some observations about sexual behavior in general and then manual sex (hand jobs) specifically. SEX IN GENERAL Don’t fall […]
Desire: Willing Versus Wanting
I was reading a Christian book written to women about marital sex recently that has been on my reading list for sometime. There were a number of things in the book with which I didn’t agree so I’m not going to recommend the book. However, there was one thing struck me for truth in the […]
Manipulation
Ever been manipulated? Most of us have. Ever been spiritually manipulated? If you’re part of any type of religious community it is likely that you have or at least the attempt has been made and perhaps you recognized it for what it really was at the time and were able to avoid it. Spiritual manipulation […]
Gotta Clue? Want One?
An exchange between a husband and a wife: Wife: What’s worse than not having a clue?Husband: What?Wife: Not WANTING a clue! Sadly, the state of many marriages is summed up in this humorous, humorous if you’re not living it, exchange. It is one thing to be blissfully ignorant, I mean, we don’t know what we […]
More on Karma in Marriage
Again, I don’t believe in karma but I do believe that we reap what we show. Galatians 6:7 (NASB) Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, this he will also reap. The thing about reaping what you sow is that you cannot start sowing something new today and expect […]
